


In Loco Parentis

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Saturday Night Fry
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 06:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5118347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The arch-villain Jenny Flamisto has been caught in the backwash from her latest diabolical invention. Unfortunately, so has the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Loco Parentis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeccaDG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaDG/gifts).



"Doctor?" Jamie called. The thick smoke from the blazing remains of Jenny Flamisto's fiendish device was making it difficult to see beyond a few feet, not to mention breathe. "Doctor?" 

The smoke parted, revealing a dishevelled, soot-speckled Victoria, her handkerchief pressed over her mouth. "I think I've found him," she said. 

"You _think_?" Jamie repeated. "What d'ye mean?" As a worrying conclusion jumped into his head, he clutched at her arm. "D'ye mean he's dead?" 

The fumes catching at Victoria's throat had sent her into a coughing fit. Unable to reply, she merely shook her head and indicated that he should follow her. They stumbled through the smoke until Victoria stopped, and then knelt. At this level, they seemed to be below the worst of the smoke; enough to breathe, anyway. 

"Oh." Jamie looked down at the two babies lying on heaps of clothes. "That's not... That canna be..." He took in the checked trousers, the scruffy coat, the recorder. "It is, isn't it?" 

"This one must be the Doctor," Victoria said. 

"How can you— Oh." It was all too obvious which baby was the boy, and which the girl. "It's not right to be seeing them like this." 

"I know, but we can hardly avoid it." Victoria gently lifted the baby Doctor into her arms. "You must take Miss Flamisto. Make sure you support her head," she added, seeing Jamie nervously reaching for the baby as if she might prove to be red hot. "Copy what I am doing with the Doctor." 

Jamie picked up the de-aged supervillain, who promptly burst into tears. 

"We can't leave them here," he said. "But what are we to do with them?" 

"I... I don't know." Victoria looked down at the baby Doctor. "We must look after them, I suppose. Feed them." 

"Aye, and find something we can use for nappies," Jamie added. "If you put food in at one end something's going to come out the other, isn't it?" 

"Trust you to think of something like that." Victoria grimaced at the thought. "The TARDIS. There will be rags there we can use. And perhaps the food machine can make milk." 

"Can't you?" Jamie asked teasingly. 

"Jamie!" Victoria went very pale, then very red. "That was not an appropriate remark." 

"Sorry." Jamie looked down at the shrieking baby in his arms. "Let's get them back to the TARDIS, anyway." 

⁂

"I canna make head nor tail of this," Jamie said, peering at the instructions on the packet of infant formula. 

"Give me a moment and I shall be with you." Victoria pinned the spotted handkerchief into place around the infant Doctor's waist, hoping this time that it would stay on, and lowered her charge into the cradle she'd found. Lifting Miss Flamisto into her arms, she hurried to Jamie's side. "What seems to be the difficulty?" 

"How d'ye measure this stuff?" Jamie gestured at the scales. "And what's a gram anyway?" 

Victoria glanced over the instructions, and decided that, for all Jamie's admirable qualities, he was hardly the person to follow the procedure to the letter. She had a dark suspicion that he might skip words he didn't understand. 

"Look after Miss Flamisto," she said, handing the child across. "I shall deal with the milk." 

"What did we do to deserve this?" Jamie wondered, vainly rocking the wailing girl in his arms. "Yon lassie's a nightmare." 

"I suppose it's only to be expected: she is, after all, an evil genius." As she set the kettle boiling, Victoria caught a glimpse of her reflection in its silvered surface: haggard, flustered, her hair a chaotic tangle. "We shall just have to hope that the effect proves temporary." 

"You mean they'll change back?" 

"I hope so. None of Miss Flamisto's other inventions had a permanent effect." Victoria delved in a cupboard and produced a cobwebbed baby's bottle. "According to the instructions, I must sterilise this." 

"Aye." Jamie sounded uncertain. "It's just... if yon evil genius woman changes back, we'll have her running around the TARDIS." 

Victoria set down the bottle and put her head in her hands. "Oh, Jamie. But we can't leave her outside in her present condition." 

Had he not had his arms full of baby, Jamie might have given her a hug. Instead, he had to settle for giving her a reassuring smile. 

"We'll work something out," he said. "We'll keep a watch on them for as long as it takes." 

"If the effect is permanent, that may be for years," Victoria said hollowly. 

"We'll manage somehow. Lots of people do. My aunt wasn't that much older than you when she had her first son." 

"No, I suppose that's true." Victoria turned at the sound of the kettle's cheerful whistle. "I must get on with disinfecting this table." She directed a suspicious look at the child in Jamie's arms. "I think Miss Flamisto's nappy may need changing." 

Jamie's cheerful expression disappeared like snow in summer. "You want me to..." 

"Jamie, I can't do everything!" 

"Aye. Aye." Jamie headed for the door. "Don't fash yourself, lass. It'll work out all right in the end." 

⁂

Victoria locked the door, and tucked the key into her dress. 

"There," she said. "Now, even if we should fall asleep, Miss Flamisto cannot escape." 

"You mean we'll be trapped in here with a mad scientist," Jamie pointed out. 

"Two mad scientists." 

"What'll the Doctor think?" Jamie looked across at where the two babies were, finally, dozing in improvised cribs. "Waking up wi' yon Miss Flamisto, and neither of them wearing any clothes." 

Victoria yawned. "Let us hope that we are present, and able to explain matters to him." She rested her head on Jamie's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Can you take the first watch? I never knew nursing tiny babies could be so exhausting." 

"They say it'll get easier with time," Jamie said. 

Victoria's only answer was an indistinct murmur. Jamie shifted his position slightly, to try and make her more comfortable, and listened as her breathing became slow and regular. 

"There's one thing about all this," he said, surveying the scene. "It'll be good practice for when we have bairns of our own."


End file.
